"...that battery replacement is on you now."

AUSTIN—In another moment of sheer genius, Elon Musk admitted this week that Tesla odometers might be a little “generous” with mileage estimates—but don’t worry, it’s only up to the exact moment the vehicle’s warranty expires.

“It’s not the whole lifetime of the car,” Musk said while casually holding a chainsaw. “The moment that 50,000-mile mark hits, they chill out. I promise.”

The statement comes in the wake of a class-action lawsuit filed in California, in which a Tesla owner alleges that his Model Y’s odometer exaggerated mileage just enough to void the vehicle’s warranty—right before an expensive repair.

“I drove it like 35,000 miles tops,” said plaintiff Nyree Hinton. “Then boom—odometer says 52,000, and Tesla’s like, ‘Oh no, so sorry, that battery replacement is on you now.’”

According to the lawsuit, Tesla service techs allegedly told Hinton that mileage calculations include “parking lot use,” a term used to describe mileage accrued while the car is parked. Yes, parked.

Critics argue that if Tesla really is counting parking as "mileage," then your Model Y just did a cross-country trip last night while you slept.

“It’s like if your FitBit told you that browsing Instagram counted as cardio,” said automotive attorney Jenna Ortega (no relation). “There’s no legal precedent for ‘parking miles.’”

Tesla has denied the claims, calling the lawsuit “idiotic,” while Musk doubled down on X, completely contradicting his own company: “It’s not even that bad. The mileage slows down after, I swear.”

Owners have responded with a mix of concern and anger. “This guy must think we're stupid,” said Model 3 owner Marcus Lang. “Am I stupid just ’cause I bought a Tesla?”

Meanwhile, Tesla forums are ablaze with speculation. Some users report odometers jumping thousands of miles overnight. Others swear their cars are doing laps in the garage while plugged in.

“If this lawsuit succeeds,” said one poster, “I expect Tesla to pivot to dog years for mileage.”

As for Musk, he remains unfazed. “Look, the cars are smart. They know when to stop functioning,” he said. “That’s efficiency. That’s innovation. That’s MY GENIUS.”

So while Tesla continues to redefine what a mile is, customers are learning the real lesson of electric vehicle ownership: Forget range anxiety—it’s now about mileage anxiety.

Anxiety that increases as the car silently ticks toward your next $17,800 repair bill.