"It used to be a reliable Civic. Now it demands to speak to the toll road manager."

HUNTINGTON BEACH—Local driver Ryan Delgado is facing unintended consequences after naming his 2005 Honda Civic “Karen.” The car has since developed a mind of its own—specifically, one that can’t stop honking at other drivers for minor inconveniences.

“It started small,” said Delgado. “A little beep here and there when someone didn’t go immediately at a green light. But now? It honks if someone’s too slow, too fast, merges within a soccer field of me, or breathes incorrectly within three lanes.”

Delgado, who previously referred to the car as “JDMAMA,” renamed it as a joke to mock the thousands of dudes who name their cars after women. “I thought it’d be funny,” he said. “Then I made it official with a custom license plate: K4REN.”

That’s when things got weird.

“Now it honks before I even touch the wheel,” Delgado said. “I opened the door the other day and it blasted the horn at a kid on a scooter. It’s like the car is looking for problems. I swear the horn sounds like it’s shouting slurs too.”

Neighbors have reported multiple noise complaints. One local pedestrian claims the Civic honked at her for crossing at a crosswalk. “It scared the hell out of me,” said Maria Gonzales. “It was 9 a.m. I wasn’t even jaywalking. I guess I didn’t move fast enough for Karen’s liking.”

Mechanics are baffled. “We checked the horn relay, the wiring, everything,” said local technician Mike Chu. “But the car just keeps honking. I think it has a problem with emotional regulation, but there’s no part that controls that. I told Ryan to start calling it something chill, like ‘Becky’ or ‘Selena,’ and see if it calms down.”

Delgado has tried renaming the car, but so far it hasn’t worked. “I called it Sophia yesterday and it honked immediately—seven times. Almost as if to say, Put—Some—Res—Pect—On—My—Name.”

Now, the car has developed a pattern: slow honks for lane drift, aggressive blasts for Teslas, and a full 10-second hold if a BMW tries to merge without signaling. “It’s like she’s profiling other cars,” Delgado admitted. “I don’t know how to stop her prejudice.”

When reached for comment, the Civic let out three sharp honks during the interview, then revved slightly in neutral.

As Delgado weighs his options, one thing is clear: Karens are a problem everywhere.