LOS ANGELES—In an attempt to tackle the skyrocketing gas prices that have been plaguing California residents, state officials have unveiled a dramatic plan: the closure of all roads within the state. While the move may sound counterintuitive at first, proponents argue that it's a calculated strategy to alleviate the financial burden on motorists by not letting drive at all.

With gas prices reaching record highs in recent months, Californians have been feeling the pinch at the pump. In response to this growing crisis, the states Governor announced the ambitious road closure plan at a press conference.

"We understand the frustration and financial strain that residents are experiencing due to the exorbitant gas prices," the Governor stated. "By shutting down all roads, people can't drive, so they won't need gas, and that will reduce demand so prices have to come down. I learned that in high school."

The decision has drawn mixed reactions from residents. While some see it as a bold step in the right direction, others worry about the potential traffic chaos and inconvenience that such a move may bring.

Long-time California resident, Mark Thompson, shared his thoughts on the proposal, saying, "How am I supposed to get to work?"

State officials have assured residents that they are actively working on implementing efficient alternative transportation options, including expanding bike lanes. In other words, go buy a bike you fatty.

The road closures are set to begin in the coming weeks, and their impact on gas prices and traffic patterns will be closely monitored. Whether this bold move proves to be a successful strategy in combating astronomical gas prices remains to be seen, but it undeniably demonstrates California's commitment to addressing the pressing concerns of its residents.