"There is a war not causing enough destruction right now because of these idiots."

MAPLEWOOD—Local officers are being hailed as heroes after arresting a man for installing a fake hood scoop on his car. The incident, which occurred in the suburb of Maplewood, has sparked celebration among residents, who view the arrest as a significant victory against what one officer called “autozone crimes.”

The man, identified as 34-year-old Carl Jenkins, was taken into custody last Saturday after police received multiple complaints about his vehicle. “It didn't look that bad,” said Officer Mark Stevens, who led the arrest. “But we had residents calling in, saying they were car enthusiasts and extremely offended by the sheer audacity of someone installing a hood scoop that served no purpose. It was clear we had to take action.”

Jenkins, who purchased the hood scoop at auto zone with his rewards money, maintained that it helps the car reduce drag. “I don't know why no one believes me,” Jenkins said, “Just cause the air doesn't go anywhere and it's installed with with 3M tape. Does NOT mean it's not functional.”

Despite the necessary nature of the arrest, the officers involved have been praised for their swift response. “We believe in maintaining the integrity of our streets,” said Police Chief Laura Hughes. “When we saw that someone was trying to pull a fast one on the community, we acted quickly. This wasn’t just about a hood scoop; it was about sending a message that we won’t tolerate this kind of behavior.”

Not everyone is on board with the arrest. “It’s just a piece of plastic,” said Jenkins’ neighbor, Rita Morales. “I can’t believe they made such a big deal out of it. What’s next? Arresting people for fuzzy dice?”