"He is cooperating with authorities and limiting his liquid intake...."

SAN BERNARDINO—Calvin, a man notorious for his public urination spree spanning over two decades, was finally arrested last week, much to the relief of the communities he had plagued. From urinating on Audi logos to politicians, MAGA cultists, Jesus, and even Satan, Calvin's actions had long been a source of frustration and disgust for many.

The authorities had been pursuing Calvin for years, with numerous reports and complaints filed against him. His disregard for public decency and property had become a symbol of defiance and disrespect in the areas he frequented.

"This arrest brings closure to a chapter of our city's history that has caused much distress," said Chief Anderson of the local police department. "Calvin's actions were not only illegal but also deeply offensive to those that got caught in the cross fire. We are relieved to finally have him in custody even if he won't stop peeing."

The arrest has sparked a mix of reactions from the public, with some expressing relief and others disbelief at the extent of Calvin's actions. Many are now questioning what drove him to commit such acts for so long, and whether there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

In response to his arrest, Calvin's lawyer issued a statement saying, "While Calvin acknowledges his actions offended a few sensitive people, he maintains that he never intended to cause harm. He is cooperating with authorities and limiting his liquid intake."

As Calvin awaits his trial, communities are hopeful that his arrest will mark the end of his 25-year spree and bring an end to the public urination that has plagued their streets for so long.