Popular alternatives include mouth trumpets

WARSAW—Slate Auto, aiming to redefine automotive minimalism, has announced that its upcoming electric truck will not include a traditional audio system. Instead, owners will be taught how to whistle their own music—a decision Slate claims is part of their commitment to "affordable, customizable transportation."

Priced at around $27,000, or potentially under $20,000 after federal EV tax credits, the Slate Truck has already been making waves for its ultra-minimalist approach. The vehicle’s design is a masterclass in cost-cutting: manual windows, no built-in infotainment system, a single unpainted gray color, and now, a revolutionary audio experience powered entirely by the driver's puckered lips.

"We realized that audio systems are an unnecessary luxury," explained Slate spokesperson Riley Morgan. "Music is in your heart. We include a complimentary whistling tutorial in the owner’s manual, with recommended playlists like ‘The Best of the 1800s,’ ‘Willy Wonka Songs,’ and ‘I Think This Is Supposed to Be Free Bird.’”

The Slate Truck’s spartan interior offers nothing but the essentials—two seats, a steering wheel, and a dashboard mount for your smartphone, which can only be used for navigation (assuming you pay extra for the mount). Instead of a stereo, drivers are encouraged to “get creative” with their in-car entertainment, with Slate suggesting popular alternatives like mouth trumpets, rhythmic dashboard tapping, and singing Dumb and Dumber's version of Mockingbird.

Slate Auto, a startup backed by Jeff Bezos, insists this approach aligns with their mission to provide affordable, customizable electric vehicles—while getting rich. “Everyone’s always complaining about how expensive new cars are,” said CEO Mark Weaver. “Well, here’s a solution: Don’t buy a $5,000 audio system. Just whistle.”

While some have criticized the move as a step too far, others see it as a refreshing throwback to simpler times. “I remember when the only music you had in a car was the ringing of metal scraping against metal,” said 78-year-old Earl Johnson, a Slate Truck reservation holder. “Honestly, I’m just glad they included seats.”

Not everyone is thrilled, however. Early Slate Truck tester Vanessa Gutierrez described the experience as “spiritually exhausting.” “I tried whistling ‘Hotel California,’ but their tutorial is just a ripped YouTube video. Turns out whistling is hard. You expect me to drive this in silence?”

For those unwilling to whistle, Slate offers a premium "Audio Experience Upgrade" for an additional $3,000, which includes a pair of Bluetooth speakers and a link to a YouTube video of Got Your Money by Ol’ Dirty Bastard on repeat for three hours.

The automotive world watches with mixed emotions as Slate prepares for its 2026 production launch. Is Slate revolutionizing transportation or simply trolling its customers? Only time will tell. But for now, one thing is clear: In Slate’s world, silence is golden—and a good set of lungs is priceless.