"It's a testament to the unique stresses of a JDM lifestyle."

CORONA—The Useless Technicals Institute (UTI) has concluded a groundbreaking study revealing the top 3 scariest things known to man: death, public speaking, and street parking a Honda Civic. This surprising discovery highlights the unexpected anxieties of modern life, where a patch of curbing right outside your house can evoke as much fear as life's ultimate end.

UTI's study involved a diverse group of participants who were exposed to various stressful scenarios. Dr. Jane Lopez, the lead researcher, explained, "While death and public speaking have long been recognized as significant sources of fear, we were astonished to find that street parking a Honda Civic ranks equally high. It's a testament to the unique stresses of a JDM lifestyle."

The study found that participants exhibited more anxiety when asked to street park a Honda Civic compared to other vehicles. Astonishingly, many preferred to risk parking their Ferraris on the street while keeping their Honda Civics safely tucked away in their garages. Jose Santos, a participant, shared his experience: "I’ve always been confident parking my Ferrari anywhere, but the thought of leaving my Honda Civic on the street gives me nightmares. I even keep the Club on it in the garage."

Another participant, Stephanie Rodriguez, elaborated on her fear: "I've only had my Civic stolen three-hundred twelve times, but when I have to street park it, I feel a knot in my stomach."

The study's findings have prompted discussions about the psychological impact of car ownership and the stresses associated with daily activities. "This research opens up new avenues for understanding how such a low budget car can have a profound effect on our mental health," stated Dr. Lopez.

As urban areas become increasingly congested and fuccbois continue to multiply, it seems that the fear of street parking a Honda Civic will continue to haunt drivers, joining the ranks of death and public speaking as one of the top fears known to man.