"...I finally get it now. I have seen the light."

HEMET—In a shocking turn of events, longtime blinker activist Tony Ortiz has abandoned his crusade for proper turn signal usage after purchasing a BMW M2. “The temptation was too strong,” Ortiz confessed, leaning against his sleek Alpine White coupe. “I spent years trying to teach people about turn signal etiquette. But honestly? Nobody listens. Now I understand why BMW drivers don’t bother.”

Ortiz, once known for distributing free blinker repair kits at Cars & Coffee events, has been an outspoken critic of what he calls the “Signal-Free Elite.” His social media was a treasure trove of dashcam videos shaming luxury car owners for their blinkerless behavior. However, the allure of the M2’s ultimate driving nature and aggressive styling was apparently enough to compromise his principles.

“Within minutes of leaving the Carvana car dispenser, I felt it,” Ortiz admitted. “The power, the prestige… the sheer audacity of taking a turn without signaling. It’s addictive. I finally get it now. I have seen the light.”

Ortiz’s former allies in the Blinker Advocacy Coalition are furious. “He betrayed us,” said Jamie Garcia, a fellow activist. “Tony used to say turn signals were the last bastion of civility on the road. Now he’s out here making lane changes like he’s auditioning for ‘Gone in 60 Seconds.’ It’s heartbreaking.”

Even Ortiz’s car mechanic, Emilia Vega, chimed in. “I offered to do work for free if he didn't get a BMW,” she said. “He laughed and said, ‘You worried about having to buy special tools?'"

Despite the backlash, Ortiz has no regrets. “If you can’t beat them, join them,” he said with a shrug. “BMW makes the ultimate driving machine and that means no turn signals. It’s destiny.”

Rumor has it Ortiz is now developing a “No Blinkers, No Problem” movement, proving that if you're going to be a traitor make sure you're all in.