"Those new homes now pay property tax too, it's a win-win for everyone!"

TALLAHASSEE—In order to address the growing housing crisis, Florida has officially declared that cars count as real estate. This initiative aims to significantly improve homelessness statistics by recognizing the increasing number of people forced to live in their vehicles as living in "homes."

Governor Ron DeSantis announced the policy change with great fanfare, stating, "With this single initiative, we have reduced homelessness in Florida by 78%. No other state has achieved such a dramatic decrease in homelessness numbers. This demonstrates our commitment to innovative solutions for our citizens."

The decision comes in response to the mounting housing crisis that has left many Floridians with no option but to live out of their cars. By redefining these vehicles as real estate, the state has effectively changed the landscape of homelessness statistics, casting a more positive light on the issue.

"We are leading the nation in creative problem-solving," said State Representative Mary Johnson. "Our new policy recognizes the reality and provides a framework for them to be counted as housed."

Critics, however, argue that this policy is a superficial fix that does not address the root causes of homelessness. "This initiative is a way to manipulate statistics and generate more money," said housing advocate Tom Rodriguez. "They are going to start charging cars property tax!"

The state government remains optimistic about the impact of their policy. "We have achieved something remarkable," said Governor DeSantis. "Those new homes now pay property tax too, it's a win-win for us!"

As Florida's new policy takes effect, the debate continues over whether this redefinition will lead to long-term solutions for the housing crisis. For now, the state celebrates a significant statistical victory, hoping that it generates more money to get out of the grasp of Mickey Mouse.