Man Regrets Not Properly Building His Race Car, Unaware He’d Be Slow in That One Too
November 13, 2024

"Even with a billion-dollar car, he’d be stuck in the slow lane."

TORRANCE—Carlos Jimenez, an amateur racer with big dreams but questionable driving skills, has regretted not building his race car “the right way” from the start. Now, he often wonders how fast he’d be if he had invested in quality parts and expert tuning, completely ignoring the fact that, even with a better car, he likely wouldn’t be much faster—and actually would be slower.

“If I’d had those $10,000 coilovers, I’d be unstoppable,” Carlos declared. “I really thought going budget was a good move, but now I realize: quality parts are everything.”

Friends, family, and fellow racers know the truth that Carlos seems blissfully unaware of: His driving sucks. “I love the guy, but his driving’s the issue,” laughs Marvin James, a track buddy. “He takes corners like he’s sightseeing. Even with a billion-dollar car, he’d be stuck in the slow lane.”

Carlos spends hours combing through forums, meticulously planning a hypothetical “perfect” setup. Yet, while others see him as stuck in fantasy, he’s convinced greatness is just one part away. “I told him he should invest in more seat time or quit,” says John Oren, a fellow racer. “Parts can only do so much and definitely not THAT much.”


For Carlos, the dream of winning continues—one upgraded part at a time—while remaining oblivious to the skill he needs to sharpen most.

More Recent News

By Jonnathan Perez June 14, 2025
RIVERSIDE—The average age of used vehicles in the United States has officially reached 12.8 years, according to new industry data released this week. But experts warn that the real number skyrockets to 60 if you include all the cars currently sitting on jack stands in driveways, garages, and questionable Facebook Marketplace ads.
By Jonnathan Perez June 13, 2025
DETROIT—Despite dismal sales, nonexistent marketing, and no dealerships, Alfa Romeo continues to exist in North America. Somehow. There’s only one possible explanation: a secret society is keeping it alive.
By Jonnathan Perez June 13, 2025
WASHINGTON, D.C.—With many mildly horrified but completely unsurprised, the White House has formally requested that Mercedes-Benz resume production of the 770—a massive luxury car originally built for top Nazi officials during the 1930s and 40s.
By Jonnathan Perez June 12, 2025
LOS ANGELES—Recently uncovered studio notes have revealed that the 2000 cult classic Dude, Where’s My Car? was originally conceived as a gritty, grounded drama centered on Honda owners waking up to discover—shockingly—that their Civics had been stolen.
Show More

THE SHOP

EMAIL:
info@ninetyoneoctane.com

TEXT:
(424) 259-2428‬

S T A Y  T U N E D