The McRegulars Program

WOKING—In an attempt to show their confidence in Lando Norris' driving abilities—and a slightly concerning disregard for public safety—McLaren has announced that, effective immediately, Norris will no longer be paired with Oscar Piastri. Instead, the team will fill the second seat with a different randomly selected regular Joe at each Grand Prix.

“We just think it’s time people really appreciated what Lando can do,” said team principal Andrea Stella. “Sure, Piastri is a talented driver. But he's putting too much pressure on Lando. Against someone who works at a Home Depot, the brilliance becomes undeniable.”

The first “Regular Joe” selected is 38-year-old Jiffy Lube technician Dennis McClure from Des Moines, Iowa, who was notified via email that he had been chosen to drive an F1 car at the Miami Grand Prix. “I thought I was being phished,” McClure admitted. “Then a guy showed up at my house with a helmet and a race suit that had a clearly scratched-out 81 on it. The suit didn’t even fit.”

Norris, meanwhile, has taken the move in stride. “Honestly, I’ve been wondering when they'd get rid of Piastri anyway, so it’s not unexpected,” he said. “Plus, how am I supposed to win a championship if he’s always finishing in front? Now you get to see how skilled I really am!”

When asked whether McLaren was concerned about the risks, Stella shrugged. “We’ve got insurance. Plus, we can always get another regular Joe. It’s much cheaper.”

Fans are divided on the decision. Some believe it’s an innovative way to demonstrate the elite nature of Formula 1 driving. Others think it’s just another gimmick to keep Norris in the spotlight. “It’s kind of like Top Gear’s Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, but with consequences,” said longtime McLaren fan Miguel Herrera.

Despite the criticism, McLaren is pushing ahead with what it’s calling the “McRegulars Program.” Applications are open to anyone with a valid driver’s license and no racing experience.

As for Piastri, he seemed to take the news with grace. “It’s fine,” he said, deadpan. “Maybe I’ll go help Red Bull.”

With this move, McLaren hopes to prove once and for all that Lando Norris isn’t just fast—he’s definitely champion material.