"We do not condone illegal activity, but we do believe in freedom, power, money..."

DETROIT—Dodge's latest iteration of the Charger has been observed undergoing rigorous testing at some of the nation's busiest intersections. This unconventional approach appears to align with the vehicle's growing pockets due to its niche popularity within street takeovers—unauthorized events where drivers showcase an incredible amount of stupidity, often only exceeded by the spectators in attendance.

While other automakers test on closed tracks or proving grounds, Dodge has taken a more “community-engaged” approach, letting the Charger loose on real-life intersections where Dodge chaos already reigns. “We needed to simulate the Charger’s natural environment,” said lead engineer Trent Reynolds. “It's not reckless, it's research.”

The new model—featuring more electric power, sharper angles, and what Dodge is calling “Quarter-Panel-Basing Mode”—has already been spotted performing sloppy slides around traffic lights, school zones, and several unaware pedestrians. “It came out of nowhere,” said Lauren Ortiz, whose Camry was sideswiped mid-left-turn. “All I saw was smoke and a guy hanging out the window taking a selfie.”

Street takeover fans are thrilled. “Dodge really gets us,” said event organizer and part-time tow truck customer Mike ‘Lil Slide’ Davis. “This car feels like it came out the factory ready to crash into another car and then get lit on fire. It's perfect.”

Recent headlines have only cemented the Charger's takeover legend. In Anaheim, a Charger careened into spectators during a sideshow, sending two to the hospital and the driver straight into hiding. In Connecticut, a nearly identical model sent people flying before ghosting the scene. Authorities are baffled but not surprised. “We just assume every Charger on the road is planning something illegal,” said one officer. “If it’s not already breaking the law, give it 30 seconds.”

Dodge, for its part, remains tight-lipped. In a press release, the company stated: “We do not condone illegal activity, but we do believe in freedom, power, money, and letting the rear tires speak for themselves.”

As dealerships prepare for the model’s launch, early buyers are already asking the real questions: Does the warranty cover spectator collisions? And does the owner's manual come in audiobook?

One thing’s clear—Dodge isn’t just leaning into the chaos. It’s making money in it.