"...maybe I will finally be champion..."

WOKING—In a brilliant move ahead of the 2025 Formula 1 season, McLaren driver Lando Norris has formally requested that his teammate, Oscar Piastri, change his name to Lando Norris in an effort to maximize podium finishes for “Lando Norris.”

“It just makes sense,” Norris explained in an interview. “Statistically speaking, Lando Norris has a much better chance of finishing on the podium if Oscar Piastri is Lando Norris. Simple math.”

McLaren team principal Andrea Stella, while initially confused by the request, admitted that it had some logic. “It’s an unorthodox strategy, sure,” Stella said. “But if it helps Lando—uh, the OG Lando—get over the line, we might have to consider it. Besides, it is in article 5 of the papaya rules.”

Piastri, for his part, has taken the proposal in stride. “Look, if calling me Lando Norris gets me more support from the team, I’ll consider it,” he said. “But I want the trophies.’”

While FIA officials have yet to comment on whether the name change would violate any regulations, we are sure they are figuring out how to fine McLaren for this. F1 fans have already begun debating the potential chaos of two Lando Norrises on the grid. “Imagine the radio messages,” said longtime fan Javier Escareno. “Zak Brown would just be yelling ‘Lando, push!’ and neither of them would know which one he meant. This is the kind of innovation the sport needs.”

For now, the request remains unofficial, but Norris is hopeful. “If it works, maybe I will finally be champion,” he mused. "Red Bull doesn’t stand a chance.”