"My paycheck has deflated just like my cousin..."

LOS ANGELES—A furious Wacky Wild Inflatable Tube Man announced his decision to leave the auto dealership scene due to plummeting wages. Once a staple of car lots across the nation, the iconic inflatable mascot is now looking for a new career—though his exit was far from graceful.

"I’ve had it!" he screamed, his inflatable arms thrashing wildly. "You think it’s fun waving around in 100-degree heat for 8 hours a day while they slash my wages left and right? My paycheck has deflated just like my cousin!" His inflatable body convulsed angrily as he shared his frustration, making the situation both absurd and a bit terrifying for the gathered press.

The Wacky Wild Inflatable Tube Man, known for his carefree demeanor, had clearly reached his limit. "They expect me to work harder for less! I used to bring in crowds! People used to stop just to see me! Now, they don’t even notice, and for what? Pennies!" he shouted, his inflatable form flailing more wildly than usual. "How am I supposed to keep a smile on my face when I’m getting deflated both literally and financially?"

A dealership manager, Mike Stevens, expressed surprise at the sudden departure. “We thought he loved it here. I mean, he’s always so energetic. But I guess we didn’t realize how much the pay cuts affected him. Honestly, I didn’t even know he was getting paid.”

Despite his fury, the Wacky Wild Inflatable Tube Man vowed to find a new career that would appreciate his talents. "I’ll go where I’m valued," he declared, bouncing erratically. "Maybe a music festival, maybe a protest rally—anywhere but here! I'm done with the car game!"

As he stormed off—well, wobbled off—one thing was clear: the inflatable icon had no plans of going down quietly.