"...just scroll. You know—like a normal person."

SAN DIEGO, CA—A growing number of commenters are struggling with one of the simplest tasks in modern internet etiquette: not being weird under posts made by female car enthusiasts.

“It’s easy to just... not do that. I'm here to tell you the secret,” said behavior analyst Clarissa Wu. “You don’t need a masterclass or a self-help book. When you get the urge, you just stop your fingers from typing. That’s it. That’s the technique.”

Despite this, posts featuring women in motorsport, wrenching, or just parked near a car continue to be met with thirst levels previously only seen in the comments of energy drink brand giveaways and beach volleyball teams.

One recent post showing a woman torquing down lug nuts received over 200 comments—32 of which were just variations of “ride” jokes. “It’s like they think they’re the first ones to say it,” said user @MiataMarisol. “As if every woman hasn’t seen the phrase ‘take me for a ride 😉’ a thousand times before. I could have built a whole car out of those comments.”

Wu says the behavior is rooted in decades of unchecked online delusion. “These men somehow believe they’re both being original and charming. In reality, they’re typing something that’s functionally the equivalent of walking into a coffee shop and proposing marriage.”

Researchers note that not commenting is significantly less work than typing something cringeworthy. “The amount of muscle movement required to write 'Hey gorgeous' could instead be used to, say, Google how do I become useful,” Wu explained. “Or just scroll. You know—like a normal person.”

A quick experiment proved the point: when shown the same Instagram post, 8 out of 10 men were able to remain silent for 30 seconds. The other two were immediately removed from the study for replying with “queen 👑.”

Female enthusiasts remain unimpressed. “Every time I post a photo, it’s like they forget I know more than they do,” said Alexis Ortiz. “Like... just say nothing. Or ask about the build. Or don’t. I don’t care. But if your opener is ‘you’re hot,’ congrats—you’re a lame.”

The takeaway is simple: it’s incredibly easy to just not to be weird online.