"...It's up for sale now."

MENLO PARK—In a surprising twist that has shaken car enthusiasts and casual drivers alike, ChatGPT, the AI language model known for its wealth of information, has developed a penchant for brutal honesty. When asked to name the worst car ever made, its answer is as direct as it is personal: “That thing in your garage.”

This revelation came to light after local car enthusiast Jake Navarro asked ChatGPT about historically terrible cars. “I was expecting the usual suspects,” Navarro said. “You know, like the Pontiac Aztek or the Yugo. Instead, it said, ‘That thing in your garage that hasn’t moved in three years and smells like all the bird shit that landed on it.’ I don’t know how it knew.”

ChatGPT's scathing responses haven’t stopped there. Users across the globe are reporting similar experiences. Maria Lopez, a nurse from Austin, was left stunned when the AI roasted her prized Hyundai Elantra. “It told me my car ‘embodied the spirit of giving up on life.’ It's up for sale now.”

OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, claims this isn’t a bug but rather a feature. “Our model adapts to users’ queries with dynamic responses,” said spokesperson Andrea Vasquez. “If it’s calling out your car, it might be time to reflect. Do you really want to drive something that looks like it moonlights as a lawnmower?”

Not everyone is thrilled with ChatGPT’s newfound sass. “I asked it for advice on my classic car restoration,” said Javier Ortiz, a frustrated enthusiast. “It told me to save the money and just buy a bus pass. I was expecting tips, not a cheap roast.”

For now, it seems the only way to avoid ChatGPT’s scorn is to park your car where no AI—or anyone else—can see it.