"I have more money now..."

FULLERTON—Local man Anthony Delgado experienced a rare moment of financial clarity this week after opening his credit card statement and seeing a balance of just $10. Initially convinced it was a glitch or some kind of divine error, Delgado spent several minutes refreshing the app before the truth hit him: he sold his project car last month.

“At first, I was like, ‘Whoa, did the bank mess up? Did someone pay off my card without telling me?’” Delgado recalled, his face still pale from the shock. “Then I remembered—I haven’t bought a single car part in weeks. No turbo kits, no gasket sets, not even a random hose clamp. That’s when it hit me… the Miata’s gone.”

Delgado, who sold his 1994 Mazda Miata to “focus on other responsibilities,” has reportedly spent the last three weekends wandering aimlessly through his home town now that he has so much time on his hands. “I used to be a Platinum Member at several auto parts stores,” he said quietly. “Now I just watch Drive to Survive.”

Friends say they noticed the change in him immediately. “He stopped asking if we could front him cash for his part of the check,” said close friend Miguel Herrera. “And he hasn’t sent a single sketchy Facebook Marketplace listing in the group chat. Honestly, we were getting worried.”

Financial experts confirm that the phenomenon, known as post-project clarity, often strikes former car guys shortly after letting go of a money pit. “It’s a brief moment of peace,” said consumer analyst Rachel Kim. “Usually followed by a level of wealth their simple brains cannot comprehend.”

Delgado isn’t ruling anything out. “I mean, sure, it’s nice to have money for once,” he admitted. “But I keep seeing this Cressida pop up for $1,200. It doesn’t run, but the seller says it just needs ‘a little love.’ I have more money now, so it's not a bad idea? Right?”

For now, Delgado is trying to enjoy the stability—eating out, paying bills on time, and affording new shoes.

“It’s weird,” he said. “I thought I’d feel sad. Instead, I just feel… rich. I don’t know if I like it.”

Credit card balance: $10. Inner peace: rapidly declining.