"...black hole on wheels."

LOS ANGELES—What began as an aesthetic choice quickly turned into an existential crisis after local car enthusiast Luis Mendoza spent an entire night searching for his freshly painted Vantablack Nissan 350Z—only to realize it had been right in his driveway the whole time.

“I thought someone stole it,” said Mendoza, still squinting into his driveway at what appears to be a black hole with wheels. “I walked past it like eight times. I can't see it but It’s just... there.”

Vantablack, known as one of the darkest substances on Earth, absorbs 99.96% of visible light. For Mendoza, that meant turning his once-flashy project car into something that resembled an unfinished 3D model in real life.

“I wanted something stealth,” Mendoza explained. “But now it’s beyond stealth. It’s like the car doesn’t want to be found anymore. I opened the door and it felt like reaching into the void.”

Neighbors became concerned when they saw Mendoza wandering around with a flashlight, a Bluetooth tracker, and at one point, a leaf blower.

“I thought he was trying to break into someone’s house,” said next-door resident Barbara Greene. “Then I realized he was whispering, ‘Z, where are you?’ to the shadows. I called my husband just in case.”

Mendoza’s friend and fellow car modder, Jamal Ortiz, says he warned him about going full Vantablack. “I told him matte was enough,” Ortiz said. “But no, he had to go full 'black hole on wheels.' Now he’s scared to drive it at night. Honestly, I’m scared for him too.”

Despite the minor identity crisis and several door slams, Mendoza has no regrets—sort of. “It looks amazing in photos. Well, not amazing, more like absent. But in the right lighting, it’s terrifying. And that’s exactly the vibe I wanted.”

Mendoza has since installed reflective tape on the door handles so he can at least find his way in. As for resale value? He’s not worried. “It’s basically invisible, so it’ll never get scratched. Or noticed. Or validated. But hey—it’s art.”

At press time, Mendoza was last seen circling his own driveway with a flashlight again. “It was here a minute ago,” he mumbled. “I think.”