"I'm genuinely shocked that it's that many cars running..."

PALO ALTO—A recent in-depth study conducted by the Useless Technicals Institute has shed light on an unexpected statistic: on average, car enthusiasts have only 0.25 functioning cars in their garages. The study, which delved into the garages of car enthusiasts across the United States, has raised eyebrows and prompted reflections on the nature of car enthusiasts.

Dr. Emily Turner, the lead professor on the study, expressed her astonishment at the findings, stating, "We were genuinely baffled by the results. Our team expected a variety of projects and perhaps some under-maintenance issues, but to discover that, on average, car enthusiasts have only a quarter of a fully functional vehicle in their garages was quite surprising. It brings into question what enthusiasts are actually doing."

The Useless Technicals Institute study analyzed a wide range of garages, from DIY tinkerers to serious car collectors, unveiling a common thread of incomplete or non-operational projects. Dr. Turner emphasized the need for further exploration into the motivations behind this phenomenon, speculating whether it's a result of ambitious project undertakings, financial constraints, or simply the thrill of telling Instagram that you have a shitload of cars.

In response to the study, Mark Davis, a car enthusiast from Colorado, shared his perspective, saying, "I'm genuinely shocked that it's that many cars running.  Most of the cars at SEMA don't run. I figured having a bunch of cars that don't run is what everyone did."

As the automotive community grapples with the implications of this study, it opens up discussions on the challenges and joys of being a car enthusiast. From ambitious restoration projects to the perpetual pursuit of the perfect ride, the quarter-functional garage statistic has sparked the questions, "What's the point?!"