"...challenges the notion that our less evolved ancestors are extinct."

HOUSTON—Scientists have unearthed evidence suggesting that ancient humans continues to walk among us. Dubbed "homo inexpertus cursoris," or colloquially known as "homo amateur racer," these individuals represent a continuation of our evolutionary past. The term "homo inexpertus cursoris" reflects the characteristics of these individuals, who exhibit a unique blend of ancient and modern traits that allow them to survive in modern times but still choose to wear a helmet, fire retardant suits, an run directly into danger despite the close proximity to their demise.

The revelation comes as researchers delve deeper into the genetic makeup of modern populations. Dr. Maria Sanchez, lead researcher on the project, explains the significance of their findings: "Our study sheds light on the complexity of human evolution and challenges the notion that our less evolved ancestors are extinct. Homo inexpertus cursoris demonstrates that ancient genetic traits persist in modern populations, and are able to exist in modern society. Bless their hearts."

The discovery of homo inexpertus cursoris raises intriguing questions about the interplay between genetics, environment, and adaptation. Dr. Emily Chen, an evolutionary biologist, emphasizes the importance of understanding our evolutionary legacy: "Studying populations like homo amateur racer offers valuable insights into the mechanisms driving human evolution and adaptation. Why does this species choose to put roll cages in their cars instead of just avoiding the danger all together? Why remove stability control when going triple digit speeds?"

As scientists continue to unravel the mysteries of human evolution, the discovery of homo inexpertus cursoris serves as a poignant reminder of our shared ancestry. From ancient migrations to modern lifestyles, our genetic heritage continues to shape the tapestry of human diversity. In the footsteps of our ancestors, homo amateur racer walks among us, a living testament to the ability to survive despite countless decisions that go against that.