"He’d have to deport his own son’s car."

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Car enthusiasts, dealerships, and manufacturers are scrambling after President Donald Trump signed an executive order this morning demanding that all foreign cars “go back to where they came from.” The order, which critics are calling confusing, pointless, and impractical, has already sparked chaos at ports and local Cars & Coffee events nationwide.

“We’re making American garages great again,” Trump declared during a press conference. “These foreign cars have been taking up space, stealing parking spots, and lowering the property value of American-made vehicles. Frankly, it’s a disgrace. If it doesn’t say Ford, Chevy, Dodge, or Tesla, it’s gotta go.”

Car enthusiasts are baffled. “Does this mean I have to ship my Supra back to Japan?” asked local tuner Marcos Ramirez. “It’s been part of my family for almost 30 years! It only knows American roads. And what are they going to call Hot Import Nights? Hot Domestic Nights? That sounds stupid. Besides, I thought Toyota had a plant in Kentucky—does that make it half-American? This is insane.”

Dealerships are equally perplexed. “What are we supposed to do with inventory?” asked dealership manager Lisa Patel. “Half the lot is Toyotas and Hondas. Are we supposed to load them onto boats? And what about Teslas? They’re American, but they feel kinda foreign. Do they stay or go?”

Elon Musk chimed in on the new directive: “This is brilliant. We should be proud of homegrown cars, especially Teslas—they have the RIGHT POWER! RIGHT POWER! RIGHT POWER!” Musk followed this statement with what the Anti-Defamation League describes as a Roman salute. Whatever that is.

Critics of the executive order have pointed out the economic ramifications of such a policy. “This is a logistical nightmare,” said policy analyst Javier Menendez. “If Trump thinks he can just deport foreign cars, who’s going to explain to him that Barron owns a Benz—a German company? He’d have to deport his own son’s car.”

As the auto industry scrambles to make sense of the order, one thing is clear: America may soon be seeing a lot more Teslas on the road—for better or worse.