WARNING: For Neglectful Project Owner
January 13, 2025
A concerned friend has reached out for us to send goons to motivate you to finish your project car. This is your first and final warning to get started on said project car before we deploy the project pushers. Thank you.
More Recent News
RIVERSIDE—The average age of used vehicles in the United States has officially reached 12.8 years, according to new industry data released this week. But experts warn that the real number skyrockets to 60 if you include all the cars currently sitting on jack stands in driveways, garages, and questionable Facebook Marketplace ads.
DETROIT—Despite dismal sales, nonexistent marketing, and no dealerships, Alfa Romeo continues to exist in North America. Somehow. There’s only one possible explanation: a secret society is keeping it alive.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—With many mildly horrified but completely unsurprised, the White House has formally requested that Mercedes-Benz resume production of the 770—a massive luxury car originally built for top Nazi officials during the 1930s and 40s.
LOS ANGELES—Recently uncovered studio notes have revealed that the 2000 cult classic Dude, Where’s My Car? was originally conceived as a gritty, grounded drama centered on Honda owners waking up to discover—shockingly—that their Civics had been stolen.
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