" I can eat whatever I want..."

MIAMI—Forget fad diets and expensive gym memberships—a new wave of weight loss experts are now recommending a more effective strategy: stripping your car's interior, deleting sound deadening, and thinning out the wiring harness. The method, which promises “maximum gains through maximum deletions,” is rapidly gaining traction among car enthusiasts.

“It’s simple physics,” explained Dr. Luis Herrera, founder of the groundbreaking Jack It & Lose It program. “Weight reduction is weight reduction. If you’re sweating through a 12-hour dash removal, congratulations—you’re losing double the weight.”

Early adopters swear by the method, despite the questionable science. “I lost 26 pounds just pulling the carpet,” claimed Marco Alvarez, who hasn’t been to a gym since high school. “Plus, now I can eat whatever I want and still get faster. Ozempic has nothing on this program.”

However, some seem less than convinced. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” said personal trainer Sofia Ramirez. “People are calling me asking how many pounds does a rear seat delete count as. The only thing getting shredded is their resale value.”

Despite the criticism, the trend shows no signs of slowing down. Some workshops are even offering “Weight loss packages” that include full gutting, HVAC removal, and motivational stickers that say No Fat Chicks (or Dudes).

“It’s not just about the weight,” added Dr. Herrera. “It’s a lifestyle. Why work on yourself when you can just cut it off your car?”