"...What’s next—breaking pasta in half before boiling it?"

MARANELLO, ITALY—In a scandal that has sent shockwaves through the Tifosi and led to plates of linguine being angrily slammed onto terrazzo floors, Lewis Hamilton’s relationship with Ferrari has reportedly hit a snag—after he was photographed putting pineapple on a pizza during a team dinner in Modena.

The image, now circulating widely online, shows Hamilton delicately placing pineapple chunks onto a Neapolitan-style margherita while smiling, unaware that team principal Fred Vasseur was watching from the corner with the expression of a man who’d just witnessed a violent murder committed in broad daylight.

“We knew Lewis was different-a,” said Ferrari chef Paolo Santini. “But we never expected this-a. He put the fruit on the cheese-a, and then had the audacity to ask if we had chili flakes-a. Chili flakes-a!”

Hamilton, who joined Ferrari for the 2025 season, had been making a strong effort to embrace Italian culture—attending pasta-making workshops, learning key phrases like “Forza Ferrari,” and even doing small jobs for the local mafia. But sources say the pineapple incident has undone months of goodwill.

“I don’t care if he’s a seven-time world champion,” muttered one longtime Scuderia engineer. “You put pineapple on a pizza in front of an Italian and expect respect? What’s next—breaking pasta in half before boiling it?”

According to insiders, Vasseur attempted to salvage the situation by quickly ordering another pizza and claiming the original was “just a funny joke.” However, the damage was already done. Charles Leclerc reportedly left the table early, muttering something about “preserving tradition” and “this is why we're losing the Constructors’.”

Ferrari declined to comment officially, though an internal memo has since circulated reminding staff that “culinary values are sacred” and that “all future Hamilton meals shall be supervised.”

Hamilton, for his part, remains unfazed. “I’ve always believed in expressing individuality,” he said in a statement. “Pizza is a canvas, and pineapple is my brush. Just like with my style, I’m trailblazing.”

Fans are divided. Some have praised Hamilton’s boldness, calling it “the trailblazing energy Ferrari needs.” Others, particularly in Italy, are calling for a tribunal. One online poll conducted in Italian saw 91% of respondents demanding he issue a formal apology.

As the season continues, all eyes are on whether Ferrari can move past the scandal and focus on winning. But as one team insider warned, “If he ever asks for ketchup on pasta… it’s over.”