"...It's like they have zero skills."

WASHINGTON D.C.—The U.S. economy is facing a notable decline as more individuals who attended automotive "takeover" events enter the workforce. Known for their reckless behavior and low IQs, these attendees are proving to be a significant liability for employers across various industries.

Takeover attendees, often associated with illegal street stupidity, are now making their presence felt in the job market. Unfortunately, their reputation for irresponsibility is proving accurate, leading to severe financial losses for businesses that employ them.

"Employing takeover attendees has been disastrous," stated Sarah Mitchell, owner of a local pizza delivery service. "We had high hopes, but their incompetence has cost us thousands. One of them couldn't even follow simple delivery instructions. It's like they have zero skills."

The statistics are staggering. Takeover attendees have been fired more than any other group by a 900% margin. Employers are finding it increasingly challenging to retain them due to their lack of basic job skills and poor work ethic.

"They're not just bad employees; they're a liability," explained Mark Reynolds, a manager at a manufacturing plant. "We've had incidents of property damage, safety violations, and theft. So much theft. It’s costing us millions."

The impact on the economy is becoming more apparent as businesses struggle to cope with the fallout. With rising operational costs and decreased productivity, the broader economic implications are concerning. Many companies are now rethinking their hiring practices to avoid further losses.

"It's a harsh reality," said economic analyst Karen Brooks. "The influx of takeover attendees into the workforce is a significant factor in the current economic downturn. Their lack of skills and extreme stupidity is draining resources."

As employers grapple with the challenges posed by these individuals, the need for stricter hiring criteria and better vocational training becomes evident. The situation serves as a reminder of the critical role that workforce quality plays in the overall health of the economy.

In the meantime, businesses are urged to exercise caution and consider the broader implications of their hiring decisions. "We have to be more selective," Mitchell concluded. "The future of our economy depends on firing all the takeover idiots. Good luck buying your Camaros now!"