"I never wanted to own a junkyard—it just happened..."

DETROIT—A new discovery from the Automotive Archaeology Institute (AAI) has confirmed news that has sent shockwaves across the car community: every junkyard owner started as an optimistic car enthusiast, fully convinced they were just “fixing up a project car.”

The discovery was made after researchers unearthed a collection of rusted-out shells, mismatched bumpers, and long-forgotten Craigslist listings buried beneath layers of crushed Altimas and sun-bleached carbon fiber hoods.

“We traced the origins of every junkyard back to a single car enthusiast who swore they’d get their project running ‘one day,’” said Dr. Miguel Estrada, lead researcher on the project. “Eventually, they just kept buying more ‘parts cars’ until, well, here we are. The natural evolution from hopeful builder to full-time junk hoarder is scientifically undeniable.”

Many junkyard owners, when confronted with the evidence, offered little resistance to the findings.

“Yeah, that checks out,” admitted Raul Jiménez, owner of Jiménez Auto Salvage, standing atop a pile of third-gen Civics. “I was just looking for a cheap way to fix up my EM1. Next thing I knew, I had 14 of them, none of them running, and people started showing up asking for parts. I never wanted to own a junkyard—it just happened.”

The study found that this transformation follows a specific cycle. The enthusiast buys a daily driver and then turns it into a non-running car with “a lot of potential.” They then buy a second “daily” to get around while they fix the first one. A third is added after the realization that the second one should also be modded. By the time the fifth vehicle arrives, the backyard has turned into an scrapyard, and local car guys have started stopping by unannounced.

Experts believe this shift is fueled by a mix of ambition, denial, and a deep, unshakable belief that they are actually handy enough to restore their project cars despite never actually completing one before.

“I used to think I was just bad at finishing projects,” said Marco Delgado, a former enthusiast turned full-time scrap dealer. “Then I realized, no, this is a calling. The world needs guys like me—people willing to hold onto a rare fender for 20 years just in case one guy with a 1986 Toyota Celica needs it. I’m doing a hero and it's time people recognize it.”

Despite the study’s grim outlook for project car owners, many enthusiasts insist they won’t suffer the same fate.

“That’s not gonna be me,” said Anthony Rojas, who currently owns four non-running 240SXs. “I just need an engine swap and some wiring. Give me two weeks, and I’ll be in the canyons.”

As of press time, Rojas was seen browsing Facebook Marketplace for a “cheap donor car, just in case."