"The integrity of motorsport is at stake. It's not that hard"

DAYTONA BEACH—The motorsports world was rocked this week as the International Racing Federation (IRF) announced the unprecedented stripping of multiple championships from racer Alejandro “El Duro” Castillo after discovering his extensive abuse of a banned performance enhancer—BlueChew.

The investigation began after suspiciously rigid and consistent performances from Castillo, who stunned the racing world with his relentless stamina, late-race surges, and uncanny ability to maintain peak performance even in the most grueling races.

“We initially thought it was just raw talent,” said IRF spokesperson Benjamin Hart. “But after reviewing telemetry data, we noticed something unusual—his lap times continued to improve after four hours of racing. I would have recommended he see a doctor. Most drivers start fading, but this guy? He was just going harder and harder as the race went on.”

The tipping point came when Castillo set an all-time record for longest sustained lead during a 24-hour event, prompting officials to conduct a surprise drug test. The results? A staggering overdose of sildenafil-infused supplements, known commercially as BlueChew.

Castillo, initially defiant, defended his usage.

“Look, I’m a competitor,” he said in a hastily arranged press conference. “I didn’t take steroids, I didn’t take EPO, I just wanted to be ready. Is it really my fault that my focus, endurance, and ‘drive’ improved dramatically? If BlueChew made me a better racer, maybe the other guys should’ve used my discount code 'Firme'.”

However, rival drivers were quick to call foul.

“We all thought it was weird how rigid he was under pressure,” said championship runner-up David Morales. “Dude never faltered. I mean, I respect mental toughness, but when you’re setting lap records six hours into a race with no signs of fatigue, something’s definitely up.”

The IRF maintains that Castillo’s usage of BlueChew provided an unfair advantage, citing “artificially sustained endurance and heightened senses.”

“The rules exist for a reason,” said Hart. “We cannot allow an unfair boost in performance, whether it’s from illegal fuel additives or a little blue pill. The integrity of motorsport is at stake. It's not that hard”

Castillo, now stripped of his titles, has vowed to appeal the ruling, claiming that BlueChew was technically not listed under banned substances at the time of competition. Meanwhile, reports indicate that multiple teams have begun quietly walking the paddock wearing backpacks on their fronts, proving once again that racing is all about finding the next big edge—by any means necessary.